One Step Forward...Two Steps Back

I have meet with so many doctors now, I collect their business cards. I have a binder of all my pathology reports, doctor visits and information on everything I can get my hands on. Some days the information is just too much for me and others, it's as if I can't get enough information. I have learned that each doctors visit won't be as I had hoped, that I can now count on.

I have learned so much though about this disease. I have learned that developing Breast Cancer is not a result of diet, exercise or lifestyle. Breast Cancer is in your genes wither you like it or not. Now.... what you eat and how you exercise is a great way to keep your body in shape but in no way is it a Preventive Measure to keep from developing Breast Cancer.

I have met with a Genetics Councilor and had a test done to determine if I have one of the two Breast Cancer Genes, BRCA1 & BRCA2 and if they have mutated. I will learn the results sometime next week. Today I met with my Chemo Oncologist, he said that if my genes are mutated I will need to have a Double Mastectomy followed by Chemo Therapy followed by a daily pill Tamoxifen for five years. If, however, I don't have a mutation I need to make a decision to have Chemotherapy followed by Radiation for 7 weeks followed by Tamoxifen daily for 5 years. So much to process and keep a smile on my face.

It seems as though lately I take one step forward and two steps back. I can't wait for all the "Waiting" to be over. I seem to have to wait for test results, tests yet to come with the Treatments looming over my head, its a mind game that you need to keep ahead of. That is so draining and can really get to you. I choose to take it one day at a time, that is the best I can do right now. This has been so hard since I am usually so active and always moving forward. This is one of the hardest attributes that I need to learn....patience and taking things slow. One Step Forward, Two Steps Back....soon all my steps will be forward.