The Strawberry Blonde Is Now All Gone......

What defines you?  I like to think your character, your compassion, your thoughtfulness, your dedication, or maybe your convictions in your religious beliefs.  When you walk by someone who looks a bit different do you tend to stare?  When you hear something that is a bit out of the ordinary to you, do you find yourself thinking "What did he/she just say"?  OK, so it's totally normal....right??

Lets see it from the perspective of the receiver of those looks and giggles.  So Sunday November 19th, I woke up to what seemed to be a normal day.  While getting ready for church I noticed a bit more hair in my brush than usual.  With each stroke I thought to myself, "I could make my own wig"!! ha ha.... So I knew this day would come but I was hoping it would happen after my 2nd Chemotherapy treatment.  Now lets think about this, does anything in my life happen like it should, or even on time??  While at church I was praying that no one would give me a hug and touch my hair, for fear it would come out in their hands & I would have to explain.  Then what would they do with this enormous amount of hair in their hands, that would be embarrassing.  Well that almost happened, but my quick hand headed off that stroking of my hair like Superman stopping Lex from trying to strike him.  OK so I'm not a superhero but I kinda like the analogy.

I decided since our daughter Cassandra would arrive on Tuesday November 22nd, I would wait to have it cut off that night.  We had all our children (except Janessa & Austin), Howie and Ann Sarmiento, and of course Elizabeth Bence and her daughter Carrie.  I had a good friend Nikki Gouldin, who happens to be a hairdresser, come do the honors.  Ann brought me a scarf and bangs....yes I said bangs.  They are a like a wig but on a thin head band, you wear them under a hat or scarf.  They are really cute!!

So Nikki started to take my hair band out of the braid I had & make a pony tail.  I tried to tell everyone that my hair falls out in big clumps...but they really didn't understand.  That is until Nikki took the braid out, everyone just looked, mouths dropped and all I heard was, Wow.  I tried to tell them...ha ha.  So after she carefully put my hair in a pony tail Carrie, Cassandra and Makayla took turns cutting the pony tail off.  So my hair, when you would look at me, seemed really Strawberry Blonde...emphasizing BLONDE.  Well under those blonde locks was dark red hair, almost blonde!!  It was a fun night only filled with laughter, just the way I wanted it.  Nikki was able to buzz it down to a 0, which still left stubble.  The next morning Cassandra & I got creative using duct tape to get those remaining hairs.  I still have stubble but was able to take out some hair that is just sitting there.  No it didn't hurt, I have some hair that has no roots, its just sitting in the pore waiting to come out.  I think after tomorrow I will lose the rest, including eyebrows and eyelashes...now you can cry for me...he he he.

I have refused to stay inside like a hermit crab, huddled on my sofa watching movies all day, so Wednesday  Cassandra & I went out.  It felt weird, now everyone will know I have cancer.  People do look at me differently, treat me differently and people who usually wouldn't give me the time of day even come up to me and try to be my new BFF....Whatever!!!!  I do appreciate the sentiment though.  We have had many friends and families who are both members and non-members of our church bring us dinners.  Thank you Debbie Crockett for organizing this.  We so appreciate all the meals, especially when I have no energy or are too sick to get out of bed the 4 days after chemo to cook dinner.  But its ok, my mom told me to be proud of my baldness....ok I will try.  She even cut her hair really short, thanks Mom.  But let me just say, please don't cut your hair short or off on my behalf....it really stinks.  I wear scarfs and hats for now,  I really don't know if I will wear wigs though...but I have bangs...ha ha!!

So my point to this is when you see someone who is bald, please don't look at them with concern or pity in your face.  That is truly the last thing anyone who is battling Cancer or dealing with Alopecia (refers to a group of rare disorders that destroys the hair follicle & replace it with scar tissue, thereby causing permanent hair loss) really wants to see.  When fighting a disease it's overwhelming sometimes, you need to have strength to get through it.  Talking about it is good, making jokes about its great and killing the disease is Worth It!!   But please remember, I am not dying....I'm in it to win it...sorry to my girls, I know it's a cheer motto but truly I am!!  I have too much to accomplish on this earth, one of them is to live to be at least 90 something.  Thank you to all my family & friends who have called, mailed me cards, sent me emails, text messages and messages on Facebook.  Those who come to see me, give me hugs, bring me gifts and feed my family....I am eternally grateful.  Now remember....NO TEARS.... so I leave you with this Makayla "mom do we have any conditioner" Marri "no honey I didn't even think to buy that lately, I haven't really needed it for a while now".

Live, Love & Laugh...and Read Your Scriptures After You Pray.....

That's What Gets Me Through Each & Every Day.  

Now, on to Christmas!!!!!