Giving & Receiving.....

I know I am not the only mom out there who has done this but when you receive a phone call from your 8 year old from school telling you that you forgot to pick him up, you feel like your the only parent on earth that has done this.  After we picked Dillon up from school I explained to him that since I had Chemo on Tuesday I wasn't feeling 100% just yet.  He replied "What you had Chemo on Tuesday? I didn't know that?", it's that selective hearing thing kids have.  He then said the smartest thing that made me think he is paying attention, "That means you only have one more!  What day is that on?"  I had to tell him he is so smart!!!  I then realized my disease has consumed our every thought, I just hope that we can make this into a positive.  With as many blessings as I have been given I really hope to help others and make sure my family can do the same with our knowledge of this disease and treatments that are needed to be undergone.

I had an amazing opportunity to meet with a new friend Janelle, who had her first Chemotherapy on Tuesday December 20th.  Cassandra is friends with her son Tanner, who is currently serving a mission for our church in Australia.  Cassandra & I put together a care package and brought it to Janelle Monday.  I was able to answer her questions and hopefully calm her fears of having Chemotherapy and all that it will bring to her body.  She is doing great and will continue to do so, she is a very strong person.  I was so happy to be on the giving end instead of the receiving end.  I so appreciate all the help, dinners brought in, gifts, kind words, lovely cards and many many prayers said on my behalf.  BUT it felt great to be back where I usually am, the giver.

One thing, out of many, that I have learned so far is.....to receive is just as important as to give.   As important as it to give of your time, effort, talents, love and compassion, it is just as important to receive those special gifts.  When someone has taken the time to bake cookies and bring them to you as a gift during the holidays or to show appreciation, the gratification of having them received with such joy is so important to the giver.  I have learned that to show my appreciation to those who have given me so much from dinners to prayers, is to give back by doing for others.  When I give a plate of homemade baked goods I don't want the receiver to make me a plate, I would hope that they would do something similar for another family.  That's the gift that keeps on giving, something that has been taught to us for over 2000 years.

My gift to everyone this year, gratitude.  I have not lost faith, I have not lost hope and I have not lost the trust that no matter what, I have a mission on this earth and I fully intend to fulfill that mission.  

Crossing a Hurdle

Tuesday November 29th was my 2nd Round of Chemotherapy, and for the most part it went good.  This time was a bit harder during the treatment but I survived.  I was more tired after treatment this time, and it will be a bit more each time.  Luckily I only have 2 more and I am done!  Tuesday December 6th I had a brunch to attend, it was good to see friends I hadn't seen in a few months.  Most didn't know about my Breast Cancer Fight.  We had a motivational speaker address over 200 of us, Carrie was great.  She started off with a "Who here is a" or "Who here has had to" but then she got to her last question, "Who here is a Cancer Survivor".  I had been raising my hand to the questions that applied to me and when it came to this one all the sudden everything was in slow motion.  I saw a few friends look at me as if to say, ok thats you raise your hand.  Then Carrie had asked me to stand up, I did as I was told but now realizing "oh my gosh I am a Cancer Survivor".  My eyes filled with tears and of course I tired to shut that off, this was a happy time and why would I cry now??!!  I only stood for a few seconds, but it felt like a few minutes.  I heard some gasps with disbelief, they didn't know...Well didn't the scarf on my head give that away, ha ha.  I also heard some say "ohh", I guess it all just hit me and to be asked to stand and hear claps of encouragement for what I am going through was overwhelming for me.  At this moment I felt like I had crossed a hurdle, I wasn't at home having a pity party, I wasn't in the car crying to a song that touched me, I wasn't toughing out my emotions,  I felt empowered!  Sitting on one side of me was Heidi, who's sister lives in Pennsylvania and recently found out that her breast cancer had come back and now they would be doing Chemotherapy.  Heidi had so many questions for me and I was able to answer them.  On the other side Diane, a great friend who comforted me knowing somewhat of my feelings.  Her dad is battling cancer and not doing well right now.  Later in the day I received a call from my friend Lisa who told me her friend had just been diagnosed with Breast Cancer and she had asked if it was ok for her friend to call me.   I have a great mentor Ines, who has been there every step of the way, checking in on me and calls just to make me laugh.  Now it's my turn to do the same.  The unknown is frightening but when you have someone to guide you through, its not so bad.  I am grateful that I have been given this great gift to share with others and help where I'm needed.  I am grateful that my cancer didn't spread, it is curable and I will live a long life. I am grateful for a loving family who supports me and loves me eternaly.  I am grateful for friends who are so gracious, kind and so incredibly supportive.  The strength I have is one that is developed through Faith and Prayer, without that I would be on my sofa watching movies.  Not now, I have a goal.  I am writing a book, becoming a Motivational Speaker and living my life they way I am supposed to.   Thank You Carrie for coming to speak to all 200+ of us and have the courage to ask me to stand.

Christmas is only 17 days away....I have so much shopping to do, but keeping mind what this Holiday is all about.  As a primary song sings "I'm Trying To Be Like Jesus"..... Merry Christmas Everyone!

The Strawberry Blonde Is Now All Gone......

What defines you?  I like to think your character, your compassion, your thoughtfulness, your dedication, or maybe your convictions in your religious beliefs.  When you walk by someone who looks a bit different do you tend to stare?  When you hear something that is a bit out of the ordinary to you, do you find yourself thinking "What did he/she just say"?  OK, so it's totally normal....right??

Lets see it from the perspective of the receiver of those looks and giggles.  So Sunday November 19th, I woke up to what seemed to be a normal day.  While getting ready for church I noticed a bit more hair in my brush than usual.  With each stroke I thought to myself, "I could make my own wig"!! ha ha.... So I knew this day would come but I was hoping it would happen after my 2nd Chemotherapy treatment.  Now lets think about this, does anything in my life happen like it should, or even on time??  While at church I was praying that no one would give me a hug and touch my hair, for fear it would come out in their hands & I would have to explain.  Then what would they do with this enormous amount of hair in their hands, that would be embarrassing.  Well that almost happened, but my quick hand headed off that stroking of my hair like Superman stopping Lex from trying to strike him.  OK so I'm not a superhero but I kinda like the analogy.

I decided since our daughter Cassandra would arrive on Tuesday November 22nd, I would wait to have it cut off that night.  We had all our children (except Janessa & Austin), Howie and Ann Sarmiento, and of course Elizabeth Bence and her daughter Carrie.  I had a good friend Nikki Gouldin, who happens to be a hairdresser, come do the honors.  Ann brought me a scarf and bangs....yes I said bangs.  They are a like a wig but on a thin head band, you wear them under a hat or scarf.  They are really cute!!

So Nikki started to take my hair band out of the braid I had & make a pony tail.  I tried to tell everyone that my hair falls out in big clumps...but they really didn't understand.  That is until Nikki took the braid out, everyone just looked, mouths dropped and all I heard was, Wow.  I tried to tell them...ha ha.  So after she carefully put my hair in a pony tail Carrie, Cassandra and Makayla took turns cutting the pony tail off.  So my hair, when you would look at me, seemed really Strawberry Blonde...emphasizing BLONDE.  Well under those blonde locks was dark red hair, almost blonde!!  It was a fun night only filled with laughter, just the way I wanted it.  Nikki was able to buzz it down to a 0, which still left stubble.  The next morning Cassandra & I got creative using duct tape to get those remaining hairs.  I still have stubble but was able to take out some hair that is just sitting there.  No it didn't hurt, I have some hair that has no roots, its just sitting in the pore waiting to come out.  I think after tomorrow I will lose the rest, including eyebrows and eyelashes...now you can cry for me...he he he.

I have refused to stay inside like a hermit crab, huddled on my sofa watching movies all day, so Wednesday  Cassandra & I went out.  It felt weird, now everyone will know I have cancer.  People do look at me differently, treat me differently and people who usually wouldn't give me the time of day even come up to me and try to be my new BFF....Whatever!!!!  I do appreciate the sentiment though.  We have had many friends and families who are both members and non-members of our church bring us dinners.  Thank you Debbie Crockett for organizing this.  We so appreciate all the meals, especially when I have no energy or are too sick to get out of bed the 4 days after chemo to cook dinner.  But its ok, my mom told me to be proud of my baldness....ok I will try.  She even cut her hair really short, thanks Mom.  But let me just say, please don't cut your hair short or off on my behalf....it really stinks.  I wear scarfs and hats for now,  I really don't know if I will wear wigs though...but I have bangs...ha ha!!

So my point to this is when you see someone who is bald, please don't look at them with concern or pity in your face.  That is truly the last thing anyone who is battling Cancer or dealing with Alopecia (refers to a group of rare disorders that destroys the hair follicle & replace it with scar tissue, thereby causing permanent hair loss) really wants to see.  When fighting a disease it's overwhelming sometimes, you need to have strength to get through it.  Talking about it is good, making jokes about its great and killing the disease is Worth It!!   But please remember, I am not dying....I'm in it to win it...sorry to my girls, I know it's a cheer motto but truly I am!!  I have too much to accomplish on this earth, one of them is to live to be at least 90 something.  Thank you to all my family & friends who have called, mailed me cards, sent me emails, text messages and messages on Facebook.  Those who come to see me, give me hugs, bring me gifts and feed my family....I am eternally grateful.  Now remember....NO TEARS.... so I leave you with this Makayla "mom do we have any conditioner" Marri "no honey I didn't even think to buy that lately, I haven't really needed it for a while now".

Live, Love & Laugh...and Read Your Scriptures After You Pray.....

That's What Gets Me Through Each & Every Day.  

Now, on to Christmas!!!!!

Can Hair Follicles Really Hurt??

All who know me know, I am sensitive when it comes to my skin, but I hadn't really prepared myself enough for the possible reactions to the chemicals that would be going through my veins.  My skin is so dry and my hair, the actual follicles, hurt???  I have learned that for the 5 days following treatment your hair will hurt to brush, to touch, to move and to just look at?!   I figure my time with this hair that I have had for 45 years will soon shed, leave me and be replaced by....a younger, healthier and better looking head of locks.  I am excited to see what will happen but really hoping for anything but grey!!!

The side effects from Chemo so far.....hand rash, mouth sores, body aches, sleeplessness, hair hurts, memory a bit fuzzy, eyesight off, fatigue & taste buds missing in action.  I know with each side effect, I will get through it and move on.  Today I really can't eat pretty much anything with the new mouth sores, so I had a milk shake for dinner.  Brushing my teeth is really painful so I do  it gently.

Although I could be mad and say "I Hate Having Cancer" I have to reflect on why I have this disease.  I was given this disease for a reason.  I pray that I will know what it is I am to do with all I am going through and learn so I can put my knowledge to good use.  Anger wont get me anywhere, a positive attitude will, and this will make me, my family & those around us happy.

So I figure by what I am told by those who are currently going through the same type of Chemo Therapy and my Doctor and nurses, my hair has about 2 more weeks with me.  I have gotten some beanies, hats and scarves in preparation for my new look.  I have a good friend Ines Parr who is going through Chemo Therapy for Breast Cancer right now, she has been such a good friend and Mentor to me through this process.  She is such an inspiration and has such a great positive attitude,  I really look up to her.

Janessa was in town over last weekend and made us dinner one night, I was able to taste it and it was soooooo good.  JT and his friend Camille make cake for desert & I was able to taste that too!!!  Thanksgiving is just 7 days away, I hope my mouth sores are gone by then so I can eat the amazing dinner Cassandra will be making us.  My family is amazing, I am so blessed to have them in my life.

First Chemotherapy Treatment

Kenny had called our Ward Missionaries to come and help him administer a Priesthood Blessing to me as a comfort for sick.  That really helped calm my fears of the unknown for the day.  Elders Evanson and Nielson didn't know what was wrong with me until they arrived, they just knew I was in need of a blessing.  They were so amazing and humble.

My Sister In Law Ann took & sat with me so patiently for over 4 hours Tuesday.  She was so great & even held my hand while I had the IV put into my hand, this is something I just hate having done.  You would have thought by looking at us we were going on a trip, she with her bag, lunch and laptop, me with my huge bad of books, scriptures, journal, snacks, lunch, 1 ltr. water bottle, blanket and cell phone in hand.



I had many who texted me during the process with lots of great thoughts and words of encouragement.  As I met my nurse for the day Vee, she reassured me that they would take it slow to see my tolerance to taking the Chemo drugs.  At first they stared me with a bag of Saline, then came the Bendadryl and Pepcid to counter act the Corticosteroid "Dexamethasone" & Chemo drugs Taxotere and Cytoxan.  I was doing great until the Taxotere, after the fist 10 minutes my knees had the worst aching and I could barely walk.  That subsided after another 10 minutes.  I had this drip for about 1 1/2 hours.  Then I had the Cytoxan, this was ok at first but then came the burning in the hand....more like stinging.  I only had this drip for about 40 minutes, thank goodness.  I did have some nausea but it was light, until I got home.  Then came the fatigue and upset stomach.  All I wanted to do was sleep, but I had to take more of my Dexamethasone, this is a medicine that must be taken with food, UGH.  So I had half a sandwich, took the meds and got to sleep for about two hours.

Oh but wait, it was election night here in Santa Clartia and needed to help Measure E pass so our School District could get the much needed funding from our current property taxes.  So at 7:45pm I made Kenny take me out so we could vote.  It was well worth it, Measure E passed!!

I was able to get a good night sleep from about 10pm-4:30am.  I had to take all my meds from 5am-6am with food..ugh!  So I made myself toast with Peanut Butter, I am finding my taste buds have been effected and the Peanut Butter doesn't taste so good to me anymore.  I had to force down 2/3's of the toast and had to stop, took my pills and sat in bed watching my favorite show, The KTLA Morning News & waking my husband up to get the kids up for the day.  I tried eating my normal breakfast of Raisin Bran Crunch, but that doesn't taste so good either???  I'm worried about lunch now...ha ha

I know I have a challenging 3 months ahead but it's so outweighs the alternative.  I am fighting for my life here and I don't take one moment for granted.

I should be feeling better Friday and Janessa arrives Saturday for a few days.  Then Cassandra comes home for Thanksgiving week!!  I love that my girls participated in a Breast Cancer Run in Utah last month, dedicating it to me.  It's a hard lump to swallow seeing the stickers on them "I Am Running For My Mom", I guess it makes it all to real.  It's one thing to go through the motions but another to see it in a picture.  All my children make me so proud.  This is not just my fight, it's my families fight too.  I get many pictures that Dillon makes me wishing me "Get Well Soon Mom".  We all handle it differently but yet have our faith in Heavenly Father that we are not walking alone.  In fact we are sometimes carried in our darkest moments.  As I pray & read my scriptures daily I find renewed strength.  May we all strive to find a renewed strength daily.

It's All In The Attitude

When a tragic event or serious situation in your life happens you realize that what you need is a positive attitude.  In order to accomplish this you need to surround yourself with positive people, unfortunately that means friends  who usually are negative, but you put up with them, become those who you would rather not be around.  Now these are not bad people, they just suffer from what I like to call the "Eeyore Syndrome".

Usually you can handle the "Pity Me" or "I'm Angry At The World" personalities by letting it all roll off your shoulders.  What really is funny are those cantankerous persons who use up all their energy to blatantly create havoc.  Now those personalities can be so difficult to be around.  I would suggest steering clear of those personalities when going through a very difficult time in your life.  We all need to be tolerant and love one another, but everyone does have their limits.

A great part of recovery from anything in life is putting yourself in a great place.  I try reading my scriptures, having daily prayer with my family and a separate one with my husband, keeping a journal, making good choices and being a good friend and neighbor.  I find that when I do this, regardless of what happens around me, as long as I keep my focus on my goal of happiness I am in a good place in life.

What makes me the most happiest is when I attend any of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints Temples.  The peace I feel in our Temples is one that you can't find anywhere else on earth.  Everyone is soft spoken, smiling, always eager to be friendly and helpful.  Even when our family attends the Temple Visitors Centers we find a peace that is so amazing.

Time with my family....when they aren't fighting....ha ha.  I love spending time with my family wether it's watching a movie, TV show, playing a game, telling jokes, taking road trips, vacations, stuck in traffic, times of sorrow or joy.  No matter the situation I love being with my family.

I love going to Disneyland, Disney World...pretty much anything Disney makes me happy.  Why do you think Disney makes people happy?  I think it's the unknown magic that all things Disney brings to each life.  No matter the weather, the crowds or time of year.... Disney makes me happy!

Laughing, its such a great medicine.  I love to laugh with friends and family.  I think the sillier you seem to get you tend to laugh at nothing at all.  No matter what once you laugh, your in a good mood.

Make sure to find your happiness in life and spread positive attitudes, those who have negative attitudes seem to end up bitter and alone in life.  Appreciate what you have, don't long for something you don't have.  Life is too short to not appreciate everything and be happy.

Plan of Action

We found an Oncologist we really like, so now we are moving forward!!  After Dr. Kwan told us that I have 3 cancers, not just 2, we were taken back a bit.  So my official diagnosis is:

  *Breast Cancer Stage 2 

  *Lobular Carcinoma in SITU

  *Infiltrating Lobular Carcinoma Pleomorphic Grade 2

  *Infiltrating Ductal Carcinoma Grade 1 & .05

So now that we went through my pathology report line by line, then looked at the results of my Genetic Testing and CT-Scan we came up with a plan of action.  The best treatment for my situation based on my age and types of cancer is 4 Rounds of Chemo, followed by 7 weeks of Radiation, followed by 5 years of daily doses of Tamoxifen.  Radiation will give me a 70% survival rate, adding Tamoxifen for 5 years increases that to 85%, then undergoing chemotherapy will increase my survival rate to 92%.  

I feel the limbo stage is now a bit more clear, I have a plan and although it will be a rough one....it could be much worse.  Now its time for me to educate myself on life during treatment and get on Skype with all my friends.  Once treatments start I will have weeks I am not able to associate with big crowds and have people come over.  Sundays and all church activities are what I will miss the most during this time.  

Family Genes

I have learned a bit about Genetics and their relation to Breast Cancer.  Now they say Family History  of Cancer is important.  Well there have been a lot of my family members who have had cancer at some point in their life.  Family History is categorized into three different types; Sporadic, Familial and Hereditary.  There is no genetic testing at this time that can determine Sporadic or Familial....BUT there is for Hereditary.  The Genetic testing that can be done will look for mutations in genes that scientists have been able to identify as BRAC1 BRAC2 (breast cancer gene).  If mutations are found this means that I have an increased risk of Breast Cancer re-occurring, but cannot determine if or when cancer will develop.  I had this test done two weeks ago and today I was able to sit down with my Genetics Councilor to review my lab results.

Oh Happy Day....all my extensive results show all NEGATIVE.  This is great news. My girls, my sister, my niece and my grand daughters etc.... will not have this in their Genetic Line!!  This is such a relief.  I will have this test repeated every 5 years as genes change over time.

Once again I am grateful for prayers said on my behalf and I am so grateful for all our prayers that are answered. Thursday is my Oncology 2nd Opinion Appointment.  This will determine if I need Chemotherapy or not.  I will do what ever I have to do in order to fulfill my life here on earth.  Today is a good day.

One Step Forward...Two Steps Back

I have meet with so many doctors now, I collect their business cards. I have a binder of all my pathology reports, doctor visits and information on everything I can get my hands on. Some days the information is just too much for me and others, it's as if I can't get enough information. I have learned that each doctors visit won't be as I had hoped, that I can now count on.

I have learned so much though about this disease. I have learned that developing Breast Cancer is not a result of diet, exercise or lifestyle. Breast Cancer is in your genes wither you like it or not. Now.... what you eat and how you exercise is a great way to keep your body in shape but in no way is it a Preventive Measure to keep from developing Breast Cancer.

I have met with a Genetics Councilor and had a test done to determine if I have one of the two Breast Cancer Genes, BRCA1 & BRCA2 and if they have mutated. I will learn the results sometime next week. Today I met with my Chemo Oncologist, he said that if my genes are mutated I will need to have a Double Mastectomy followed by Chemo Therapy followed by a daily pill Tamoxifen for five years. If, however, I don't have a mutation I need to make a decision to have Chemotherapy followed by Radiation for 7 weeks followed by Tamoxifen daily for 5 years. So much to process and keep a smile on my face.

It seems as though lately I take one step forward and two steps back. I can't wait for all the "Waiting" to be over. I seem to have to wait for test results, tests yet to come with the Treatments looming over my head, its a mind game that you need to keep ahead of. That is so draining and can really get to you. I choose to take it one day at a time, that is the best I can do right now. This has been so hard since I am usually so active and always moving forward. This is one of the hardest attributes that I need to learn....patience and taking things slow. One Step Forward, Two Steps Back....soon all my steps will be forward.

So Grateful For All The Prayers

Today Kenny & I went to my Post Op Surgery Appointment for my second surgery. I was so hopeful to hear from my surgeon that she she was able to get it all out. I had to rely heavily on my faith and trust that all the prayers said on my behalf would be my strength. As soon as my surgeon, Dr Rupp, walked in the room she asked me how I was doing. I said "I just want to hear you got Clear Margins" she looked at me with a smile and said "Don't worry, we did". What a relief and a testimony to prayer. This type of Cancer that I have is the kind that spreads, and yet with my tumor being at 2.3cm, the Cancer didn't spread to any of my lymph nodes, nor did itmetastasize, nor did it spread to the other side. That is a true testament of prayer and the power in it. I thank you all for being here for me, offering prayers on my behalf and that of my family. This kindness we will never forget. The next step, treatment.

I hope you enjoy this video as it pretty much sums up my gratitude.

I Am a Child of God

I am so very happy to hear, see and know of my girl friends who are being proactive in their health and having Mammograms! Today a friend is having her first Mammogram, although it's not the most fun thing that you could do, it only takes a short time of you day and can save your life.

* Was the last Mammogram you had 2 years ago or longer?

*Are you at least 40 years old and haven't had a Mammogram yet?

*Does Breast Cancer present a history in your family?

*Have you felt a small lump/a difference in your breast lately?

If you have answered yes to any one of these questions you must...YOU MUST have a Mammogram. It really doesn't hurt, takes less than 1 hour of your time, short and harmless X-Ray. This can give you a piece of mind or even save your life. Don't you think your totally worth it? I Do, And I am not the only one......

Surgery Part Two

Monday morning Kenny & I went to the Hospital for another surgery. I have to keep telling myself that at least my cancer hasn't metastasized and hasn't spread to my lymph nodes, that is what keeps me going right now. The girl at the check in as well as the nurses all recognized me from two weeks prior and all said "Oh Mrs. Sarmiento, your back again?" with that sorry look on their faces. I understand it and appreciate it, but when your trying to stay strong it's hard when you receive looks like that. I was happy that they were moving faster this time in getting me into the O.R. When I woke up in recovery I heard bells and alarms going off, I right away realized it was about me. I guess my EKG was showing my heart rate wasn't where it should be, yea that was scary. During all this I was asking the nurse for pain medicine, she kept putting me off on receiving them. I started to cry after what seemed like forever, just then Kenny walks in and became my Knight in Shinning Armor. He is my best advocate, he got the nurse to give me pain meds and then fought with her on the issue of medication that was prescribed. This surgery took more out of me then I thought it would. Although the surgeon cut into the same incision, she only used 1" of the original 5" area. I do feel more pain only because the first time hadn't healed 100% yet. I know over the next week each day will get better and in two weeks I will feel at 80%. I stopped taking my pain medication yesterday (day 2 post surgery), I don't like being on those meds, plus I have a family to focus on.

I will have my Post Op appointment to go over my pathology report from this last surgery next week. We pray the results are "Clear Margins"!!!

Clear Margins

As I was checking in to see the Surgeon I was so hopeful she would say "We got it all". That wasn't what she said, but she was very happy. You know when you hear news that takes the wind out of you, you just have a hard time absorbing what is said. I couldn't understand why she was so happy about the results, she has to go back in since she didn't get "Clear Margins". Why is she so happy about this? Once I had time to do some reading, investigating and understanding here is where I am at. My Pathology Report reads T2, N0, MX which means: Stage 2 Cancer, Cancer isn't present in Lymph Nodes & the Cancer hasn't Metastasized. The tissue taken out didn't have "Clear Margins" meaning there is still some cancer in the outlining area, we need it clear on the outer edges to deem "We Got It All". So Monday Sept 19th I will undergo another surgery to clean up the remaining cancer that is left. Once that is done I will then have appointments made with Oncology and Radiology to determine my treatment plan. Treatments may not start for at least 2-3 weeks. My tumor was 2.3 cm which is twice the size they thought it would be. That was a bit of a shock but do remember, the Stage is based on the size of the tumor. Since the Cancer hasn't spread and hasn't metastasized, being Stage 2 is just a size number at this point.

So although I have to undergo surgery again so soon, It's great news!!!! Keep the prayers coming everyone, they are working. There is power in Prayer and in Numbers. Our family has felt all the prayers and love that has come our way.

Thank You So Very Much!

Amazing Men Paid Us A Visit

Early Saturday Morning we all got up and prepared for the day. We knew we were going to have two very special men come visit us, but we really didn't expect what happened during and after the visit. Our Stake President Ray Carlson brought to our home Elder Christoffel Golden Jr, a General Authority of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Our visit was amazing, filled with the spirit and truly inspirational. We were truly spiritually fed, my fears calmed, our home filled with reverence and peace. For these men to come into our home and leave us with such an amazing gift, we are truly blessed.

Post Surgery Status

We arrived for my 9:30 am check in time. After I was taken back for pre-op and had the IV put in they called for Kenny to come back with me. Then off I was taken to Radiology for my ultrasound guided placement of a needle, that would be a marker for the location of the tumor for surgery. My surgeon was so very nice and she explained that there was some kind of back up in the OR and she would try to get things moving a bit quicker. She told us that it is protocol to take one lymph node during surgery to test, but preliminary reports are it hasn't spread! She only had to take one node, that is the best news so far!! We will meet with the Surgeon this week to go over my pathology report from this last surgery.

Our family's faith in Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ has been our strength and will continue to be. We believe in being honest, true, chaste, benevolent, virtuous, and in doing good to all men; indeed we may say that we follow the admonition of Paul- We Believe all things, we hope all things, we have endured many things, and hope to be able to endure all things. If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, we seek after these things.

We appreciate all those who have sent us emails, phones calls, text messages, flowers and smiles our way. Those who have brought us dinner, the kindness you have shown is overwhelming. We are so very grateful for all the prayers that have been offered on our behalf during this difficult time. We are very blessed to have the love of friends and family.

Thank You

Friends, they really do lift up your spirits

Yolie "Girlfriend" Magillanes, what an amazing friend she is. So she got me some information about financial help to offset the cost of travel since I have to drive to Kaiser on Sunset for Radiation. At this point I am told it could be daily but that could change. With the price of gas that could be so expensive!!! Yolie Girl you are so great to help me out, always thinking about others.

So we had some friends come over yesterday for a BBQ, Mike and Jamie Davis....your family is so fun!! Thanks for helping us take our minds off of things. We had so much fun! Just don't let anyone lick your elbows...ha ha

Inez, she is currently battling Stage 1 Breast Cancer. Inez is such an inspiration and makes me feel so at ease about my upcoming surgery. After Inez left I felt so much better about what the surgery will be like. Your daughter Alex is so much like you, what a great example you are Inez...Thank you for helping me through this.

Our Missionaries, those boys are so funny and yet such a great support for us. As I sent them all an email asking them for prayers, they each sent back a message offering such great uplifting messages back. The prayers that are offering on my behalf is amazing. There is a reason why we love these boys, now men, so very much! Thanks Boys, it really has brought me strength to read your messages.

Gratitude

Sunday was so amazing as I started my fast. I could feel the love of others and the prayers that were intended for me. What a peace that overcame me on Sunday. Thank you to all who are so kind hearted and offered their fast for myself and my family. I have so much faith in the power of prayer, but there is something to be said for "Power in Numbers". The love and support of all our friends and family is overwhelming, thank you.

Sundays are always my most favorite day of the week!

X2 at Magic Mountain.....Some Crazy Scary Fun!

With my Surgery just 5 days away JT's friend Lauren & I went to Magic Mountain to get me to laugh and think about something else. We walk right on to the ride (it pays to go with someone who is a ride operator at Magic Mountain ;D) BUT of course as I am starting to chicken out and start having a panic attack I tried to convince Lauren that I really couldn't do the ride. She was not having any of that and said to me with her shifty crazy eyes (that are hilarious) and in a funny voice "NO, now get on the ride"! Not only were we riding this crazy ride but she had me sitting in the front. I am so glad I was wearing my sunglasses, I think I could have scared everyone off the ride with the look of Terror in my eyes. The way they have you sit is like you are sitting on a bull, not that comfortable but it keeps you from FALLING OUT! Then they have you buckle in and the harness is like a vest that they secure you in with. As we climb the 20 story tall ride backwards Lauren is telling me "Look at the Park Marri", what is she... crazy! We start to fall but of course we are at the front so as we are HANGING UP SIDE DOWN BACKWARDS ON THIS RIDE for what seams like an eternity, finally we start to move and man is that ride fast! The G Force of the ride is incredible and so fun but terrifying at the same time. Here is a look at the ride http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3-y-0IFiZqY

Oh on a side note....I had no idea what the ride looked like until that night when I saw this on YouTube. I had my eyes closed the entire time!!!! I do want to ride it again so I can see what I am riding.....Am I Crazy Or What! Epic Day at MM!!

Thanks Lauren, that was so much fun!!! I will do Tatsu & Green Lantern someday soon....but first we do Riddler's Revenge and Batman!

Exercise.....ugh

So I guess I should get out and exercise. Now that the kids are back in school and I have 2 weeks until my surgery I will need to really motive myself to get out and walk or do what used to be my daily workout routine. I am finding that yea the thought of "Cancer" in my body is taking a toll on me. I need to get out and walk...anyone wanna walk with me???

Surgery Date Scheduled

So I received a call from the scheduler at the Kaiser Surgery Department. She informed me that my date will be Wednesday September 7, 2011 but the time is unknown and I will get a call the day before. Really, OK well I guess the date will do for now.

We ask for prayers that the cancer hasn't spread to my lymph nodes. Thank you for all who have fasted this last Sunday with our family, it really means a lot to us.

May you smile at all strangers, and those who are cantankerous in our lives, today with a love in your heart.

August 21, 2011 Sunday's....I Love Sunday's

One of the most faith building moments we as members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints do is to fast and pray once a month and in other times of trials. We dedicate our fast to someone who is in need or when we ourselves are in need of answers. Our family is fasting this Sunday and we invite anyone who would like to join us to do the same. I am not one who asks for help and when help is offered I have a hard time accepting it. I am always wanting to be on the giving end of help, not the receiving end. I will need to learn at this time in my life to ask for prayers, to ask for help and to ask for support.

I have received so much support already and I am so grateful for all the text messages, emails, facebook messages and friends who give me hugs and words of encouragement. I am especially grateful for my family who has been so amazing and to my brother who is a Dr and has given me advise, my friends who are nurses and the advise they give me.

I know that through prayer my family and I will be able to gain a stronger testimony of our Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ and the Gospel here on earth. I know that my family is forever and I am so very grateful for that. I know I have so much left to do here on earth. I know I have a fight ahead of me and I also know I caught this early and I am very lucky. I have had so many say "But if its not at Stage 1 then how is it cancer"? Well, it is Cancer and I caught it early enough that we can beat this. First Surgery, then......Radiology here I come!!!

August 19, 2011 The Pathology Report

So the Pathology Report reads:

-Invasive Lobular Carcinoma Nuclear Grade 2

-Lobular Carcinoma in SITU

-Vascular Invasion Not Identified ********this is good news this means it's not in my blood stream

-Hormonal Receptor Status To Follow

What this means, I think, is I have two types of cancer on my milk ducts. I have one that is non invasive and one that has penetrated through the milk duct. That is the one we are worried about, you see this could travel to the lymph nodes and that isn't good. So while in surgery they will inject me with a dye and see if it goes to the lymph nodes, if so they will remove those effected and the treatment would then be Chemotherapy...lets hope all goes well and I only have to have radiation.

August 19, 2011 Pre-Op.... I thought this was a Surgeon Consult??

All day I anticipate the Dr telling me that my results are abnormal but its just fatty tissue and we need to keep an eye on this. Once again my wishful thinking was just that. She started off by showing me where the masses are and what types they were. She did use the term Pre-Cancerous so in my mind "Oh good its not cancer" but when she said I would have to start radiation it was as if the record playing in my mind scratched and stopped. "Wait what? This is cancer? So I have cancer?" "Yes you have cancer. But its smaller than a centimeter and it's not at Stage 1. You realize you saved your life". I do have some recollection of that office visit but it's kind of a blur. I almost felt like I was in a Charlie Brown Cartoon listening to the teacher talk "Wah Wah Wah Wah Wah". I am so glad that Kenny and Cassandra were there with me to ask the questions I had forgotten to ask, to ask their own questions and to be such a great support for me. I am now waiting for the surgery department to call me and schedule a date to be within the next two weeks.

August 16, 2011 The Results

While visiting with friends the nurse calls, I was so hopeful that she would say "your results are negative". This would not be she said "your results show that you have abnormal cells and you need to see a Surgeon this Friday at 1pm....Mrs. Sarmiento are you ok?" I then felt as though I had been socked in the stomach and I couldn't catch my breath. I then said "I don't understand, what does this mean?" She couldn't tell me more than that and offered for me to take a few moments and she would call me back with the appointment information. I truly thought again, this isn't happening. Luckily I was with a friend who had been through this before and she sat with me, held my hand and told me that everything was going to be ok. She explained her experience and assured me I would be just fine. Now the wait and guessing game begins until Friday. The prayers continue and reality is starting to sink in.

August 12, 2011 The Biopsy, Oh Joy!

Once again I return to the hospital, get on the elevator and go down to the basement. Now usually my thoughts are, man this facility is old, I live in LA and if there is an earthquake this could not be good for me....Not today. I checked in, went to the waiting room and before I knew it I was in a room where a nurse was explaining to me what was going to happen and had me sign papers. Truly I had no idea what was going on, I was just going through the motions. I then had to change my clothes and wait for another nurse to take me to another room for the biopsy to be done. Gwen, the nurse, came to get me and I go into a room. She had me put my handbag on a table and then I had to lay down on a bed. The doctor seemed to take forever to come in but finally he did. He was so nice and listened to me for about 1 minute while I tried to talk him out of doing the Biopsy. My rational mind was working "But if this is just 'fatty tissue' why bother" "Cant we just watch this for 6 months and then re-evaluate?" Dr Kim was stern in his decision and continued with the procedure. He had to numb me in order to perform the biopsy, I wish they would have knocked me out for that part. The actual Biopsy I didn't feel, lucky me. I was told once the biopsy would start I would hear a click and to expect 5 clicks total and he should be done. I stopped counting after 7, this continued for what seemed forever. Gwen was so incredible holding my hand the entire time. Once I was done with that I then had to go to another room for a mammogram...good thing I was still numb! They put a small chip in the area of the biopsy for future mammograms to be looked at in that area with more scrutiny. I then had steri-strips put on the site of the needle. I was able to then go put my clothes back on and with an ice pack wait a bit longer. By know I am feeling as though, Ok really is this happening??? After all seemed to be good I was able to go home and wait for the 5 days before a nurse would call with the results. The prayers began.

August 8, 2011 Ultrasound

So I went to the hospital to have my ultrasound done. Although the technician couldn't find the lump I felt, I had to guide her to where it was and she then found it. She then explained that there would be a Breast Care Specialist Nurse who would be taking me to see the Radiologist. Once in the Radiologists office she explained that although my Mammogram was negative, she did see something in my ultrasound. All the while I was hoping what I was feeling wasn't real. She said a Biopsy is in order. I would need to return that Friday for the biopsy. I left that appointment really not quite knowing what just happened and what is to come.

July 21, 2011 My Annual Mammogram "Do You Feel That Lump"?

March 2011 I found a lump in my breast, but with Janessa's wedding just weeks away, I put it off and didn't tell anyone. After the wedding in April, I had "so many things I had to take care of"....That was me coping and just not dealing with it. Finally I listened to my Still Small Voice, called to scheduled an appointment to have a Mammogram just 3 days before leaving for our 2 week family vacation. While having the Mammogram done I told the technician that I felt a lump; after she felt it she seemed a bit alarmed. She told me she was going to refer me to Radiology and have an Ultrasound as a follow up.