Gossip, It's Never A Good Thing.......

Do you ever feel like your angry and you don't know why?  No it's not Menopause!  I was at a point where I had noticed in my life that something has been holding me back and I just couldn't move forward.  I tried to think it was someone else or something else, you know its always easier to blame someone else, it eases the pain.  I have found that facing my frustration will help me move forward.


So here it is.... about 4 years ago someone who I thought was a friend came to me one day.  Now this is someone who has been known to complain to others of how they feel they are not liked, and after a while you start to notice you are falling into that same mentality and find yourself looking for new friends.  On a few occasions she felt the need to tell me how others didn't think highly of my family and one day in-particular she said "you know I had lunch with this these women and they were talking about you and your situation".  She continued to tell me how these women were choosing to make me their topic of discussion, how stupid my husband and I were and what bad parents they thought we were.

Well of course I went through the usual female emotions.....

Mad: How could they say these things about me, I have never said one mean or negative thought about them.

Hurt: Now I feel like crawling under a rock, these women whom I thought were friendly towards me think so little of my family.

Anger: Seriously, who do they think they are?  I wouldn't want to be near them on judgement day!

Depression: I want to totally withdraw from everyone and just forget about having a friend, no one is truly my friend anyway.

After my emotions got the best of me for about a year I realized this is just not me.  I tried to turn the other cheek and kill them with kindness but yet these women seemed to me to snub me and only were friendly around big groups when others are looking.  I then decided to just ignore and move on, then I was diagnosed with Cancer.  I then had put my focus on what really mattered.  For a time we had some very kind friends bring us dinner during the days after my chemo treatments.  Nearly all of these women who passed judgement on me, or so I was being told, brought us dinner.  I didn't have bad feelings with a couple of them but 2 I did, in fact I tried to get out of receiving dinner from them.   This was very difficult for me but I knew that I needed to be more Christ Like.

Now the moral of this story is not to point a finger or to give shame to anyone, it is to bring awareness to feelings.  I have feelings and so do others.  Now in reality I really have no idea if what this woman had told me was even true, none the less I did go through all the emotions.  This has truly effected my friendships with so many, my families relationships with other families and my trust issue.  What I have found in all of this is when I read Scriptures and Pray daily with my family and husband I am so comforted.  I know as long as I treat others how I would want to be treated, have a true intent of my heart and live life with purpose and humbleness I will feel peace.  This is something I have come to know.

I started this story for my blog over 2 years ago and have felt different emotions while trying to finish this post.  Regardless if these women did or didn't choose to pass judgment on my family, they had no idea why my demeanor had changed with them.  I feel so bad and have repented for my actions.   I don't want anyone to take this as "Marri needs a hug"....OK maybe I do, BUT.... we are all here on earth to make our own choices.  Lets just make choices that don't hurt others, no matter your reason. 

Martina Bagaman Sarmiento, Till We Meet Again

My mother in law has been the cement of the Sarmiento Family for 55 years, raised 3 children, helped raise her brothers 2 sons, helped raise 2 of her grandchildren and was an amazing grandmother to 10.  She was born in Shanghai China, migrated to the Philippines, met and married her husband of 55 years, migrated to the USA and worked hard her entire life.  She has said to us quite often "the day I stop working is the day I die".  She had traveled much and never missed a family celebration.  Recently she was diagnosed with Congestive Heart Failure, which is treatable.  We went to visit her in early August and while we were there at her home she had suffered a hemoragic stroke, Kenny went to check in on her and found her standing by her bed unresponsive.  He got our son JT and our nephew Cleve to help him carry her down the hallway.  We called 911 and were fortunate enough to have friends there, one an ICU Nurse and one a Pharmacist.  They recognized she had stroked, so they helped with the EMTs. Within minutes she was on a gurney and off to the hospital with us behind.  The EMT's said as soon as they walked into the hospital she coded and was revived.  After a CAT Scan and other tests we received the news that she was brain dead.  We were all at the hospital at this point and Kenny's brother and family driving 4 hours away to be with her.  We had asked that they keep her alive until they arrived.  After watching her code and they had to work on her....it was all too much and with much anguish and tears Kenny, his sister Beth and I asked the ER Nurse & Doctors to stop.  We brought all the family in to say our goodbyes and I had the great blessing to hold her hand and sing church hymns to her.  Kenny administered a blessing to her and we all stood crying and loving her as she took her last breath.  At that very moment I thought to myself all the little things in life that people tend to blow out of proportion, the craziness that ensues in daily life all needs to be brought into perspective.  Life is truly short and we have so much to do, let each day be treated as a blessing.  Do unto others as you would have done unto you.

The funeral was attended by many and was as lovely as Marty was.  All the grandchildren sang, we as a family sang a song as well.  Many friends and family came from far distances to show their love and respect for such and amazing women.  The closing Hymn to her was "God Be With You Till We Meet Again".... and thats how we as a Sarmiento Family feel.

A Few Words About The Last Year.......

Over the last 5 months I have started a new Career, lost my mother in law to a stroke, sent our son JT off to College, came home to a water heater break and flooded home, been living in the Residence Inn for over 2 months and Celebrated a Birthday Post Chemo.

Starting a new Career has been so great for me, a blessing and so fun.   A great friend offered to train me in becoming a bookkeeper and Office Manager.  I have loved it and learned so much.

We lost the Matriarch of the Sarmiento Family, please read the Post "Martina Bagaman Sarmiento, Till We Meet Again".  

Taking my son to school was bitter sweet.  I know I can call him and skype him anytime however this is just a preparation for his Mission.  JT is doing so great and we had a fun road trip getting there.  As always funny things happen along the way but thats what make for fun family stories and laughs.

I return home with Dillon after our road trip to BYU-Idaho to find that Kenny and Makayla had cleaned the home from top to bottom for me.  Not a speck of dust, furniture all in place and nothing on the floor.  The next day I went to work, picked up Dillon after school then opened the front door to find our home was a Steam Bath.....our hot water heater pipe had broke and blew a hole through our Master Closet and Suite as well as flooded the kitchen and two hall ways.  Luckily we have renters insurance.  We have been at the Residence Inn now for nearly 3 months waiting for the Landlord to fix what needs to be done so we can move back in, which isn't looking so great now.  We have decided to move into another home but thats not as easy as one would think.

I Celebrated my 46th Birthday yesterday but it wasn't just any Birthday, it was the first Post Chemo Birthday.  I have learned that my life has a new normal for everything.  Tuesday I woke up feeling a little like I was going to get a cold, by 1pm I was feeling really sick so I emailed my Oncologist with my symptoms.  She told me to go to the Dr now!!!  By 6pm I as so sick the Dr put me on ZPack, Ear Drop Antibiotics and cough medicine (that made me sick to my stomach....yuk).  The Dr said my immune system is so low that any normal bug that one would be able to fight off could turn in to pneumonia for me quite quickly.  I am frustrated that I can't just fight off a bug, I can't just lose the weight that I put on over the last year, I can't get rid of my new condition Lymphodema.  BUT I am thankful for everyday I have on this earth and intend on making the best of each day.  I am so grateful for my loving and wonderful Husband Kenny, my amazing children and extended family.

This week last year I started my Chemotherapy, this week this year I have Hair, Happiness, Hope, Life and an Amazing Family.

On The Road To Recovery!!

I've been drinking this amazing antioxydent and vitamin drink called Vemma.  After Chemo and surgeries I have had a hard time getting my body back to normal.  My sister told me about this vitamin drink and sent it to me.  Once I started to drinking it my energy level rose, my skin became softer, my hair is growing in faster and thicker.  So I have been looking into this and found that the vitamins used in the this drink (that you only take 2oz daily) is all natural.  There is nothing synthetic or unnatural about it. I can testify to you that this drink works, it goes after the deficiencies in your body to make them right.  Check out my new Vemma Website at marri1.vemma.com

Milestones.......

Yesterday was yet another doctors appointment, as I was sitting there I realized how last year my biggest milestone was becoming a Mother In Law for the first time....this year my biggest milestone is growing my hair back!

I am so excited to be moving forward in life.  I realize how lucky and blessed I am and I have also realized what's really important in life.  Sometimes you don't need to be "ontime" to everything, if your just a few minutes late because your daughter want's you to braid her hair... that's ok.  If your a little late because your son want's to tell you something that's so important to him, like a video game you can't seem to wrap your head around...that's ok.

I have served on so many different Executive Boards for so many different Organizations and have seen my fair share of "drama", I choose now to stay so clear of all the drama others create, that's not worth it.  When I am involved in an organization it's all about fun, those we serve and learning as we go along.  I have been blessed in meeting people in so many areas of my life, all these people I can truly call friends.

I have been busy jumping back into being a mom again and not so much healing.  I realize my healing will be a long long process, but I am so happy to take time for me, read my scriptures daily and take care of my family.  Outside influences wont get me down, you shouldn't let them get you down either.

So here's my question for you.....what was your milestone last year?

In Good Company

So much is going on lately, yes its due to the end of the school year.  We are at the end of 3rd grade, 8th grade, 3rd year at College and High School Graduation!!! Wohoo!  We have successfully had 3 children graduate high school and be accepted into a University! We are so proud of our kids, I'm gushing I know. It always seems to sneak up on you, once Spring Break is done the time rushes by and before you know it, your sitting in a crowd of proud parents cheering on these Graduating Seniors success.  As always life goes on and moves forward.

A couple of months ago I was asked to be a speaker at our local American Cancer Society Relay for Life 24 hour event.  I was very humbled and excited to have this opportunity.  So Sunday was the big day, I was to speak to all those who had spent the night after 24 hours of walking, fundraising and having fun.  I arrived with my family and thought to myself  "how many people are really going to be there and listen to what I have to say".  Well there were many and they were so excited to take that final lap of the event.  I was to speak to this amazing group of people who had raised over $400,000.00 for ACS.  These are self motivating, caring, supporting, compassionate people who spend 12 months preparing and raising money for Cancer research, patient care and many more support activities and events that ACS offer's.

As I took the stage I felt totally in my element, I knew this is what I should be doing.  I wasn't nervous at all, I was really excited to be able to share a bit about my story but more so, I was able to rally the supporters in asking for another 12 months of hard labor of love of Relay For Life work.  I asked for a show of hands in the crowd of who were Cancer Survivors, there were a few compared to the number of 100's that were in front of me.  I felt that the few of us Survivors were in good company with all those who care so much.  I have a good feeling about public speaking and striving to be a motivational speaker!

So the funny part of all this is I received an email asking for a picture of myself and my Bio.  I really wasn't paying attention so I took one of myself and then wrote something as in Third Person.  After I arrived at the Relay for Life I see they had a special insert from our local newspaper all on the weekend long ACS Event. As I am thumbing through it looking for what vendors were there and what the activities would be I see my silly picture in large print!  I thought to myself "Oh my, what did I do"?  There was my bio and the pictures I had submitted.  I just have to laugh and pay more attention to what my emails read...ha ha.

Finding A Happy Place

So much has happened in the last 6 weeks, it's almost too much to think about but I am so glad it's all behind me and my family.  Having a Bi-Lateral Mastectomy was hard, and it was hard to wake up to see what my new reality is.  Then to overcome the pain in just 4 days and to be only on Motrin, as needed, was a blessing.  I have weekly Doctors appointments with my Plastic Surgeon so I feel like I now live at Kaiser Los Angeles Medical Center. The week leading up to my Hysterectomy I had appointments for either myself or one of my kids on Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and Sunday.  I arrived at my scheduled time of 5:30am on Monday March 19th, Kenny & I thought we would be the first ones there...Boy were we surprised.  There were about 20 people, all there for their 7:30am surgeries as well.  I was called back and the nurse was so incredibly nice to let Kenny come back with me.  I hate when I have an IV placed in my hand, so Kenny was able to bet here for the great Hand Squeeze.  I was in surgery for about 2 hours and all went well, but they decided to keep me for one night anyway.  When I woke up in recovery it was just my luck that the floor I was assigned to wasn't ready for me.  While I waited 9 hours, I was on a great pain killer that I had a hand pump for.  You learn to really appreciate your Pre and Post Op nurses more when you see what they do on a daily basis.    I had a 5 year old wake up next to me that was so upset due to the anesthesia, her mom was trying so hard to console her.  While I was laying there thinking about this little girl and her mom, I said a prayer.  I kid you not, with in minutes this girl went from inconsolable to complete calm and was able to go home.  On my other side I had a women who went in for a Carpal Tunnel surgery and woke up with chest pains.  Turns out she was a heart patient, so I prayed for her too.  Her family was shocked to know that she was having heart problems.  There were so many doctors who came and took care of this woman.   I felt so lucky that I woke up fine and was quite entertained by all the action around me...he he.

I have healed pretty well and only had one moment of that "sadness" from losing all my female hormones.  Lets hope that was my only one.  I am so incredibly grateful that I have great doctors and have been able to beat this Cancer.  I recently read a couple of statistics from the Susan G Koman Foundation that in Los Angeles County there are over 100 women weekly who are diagnosed with Breast Cancer.  Every 13 minutes in the United States a women dies from Breast Cancer.  I started asking Doctors and Nurses why so many men and women have been diagnosed with some form of cancer recently, it almost seems like an epidemic.  It seems the universal answer is "health care", a simple answer.   Most, if not all, diseases are preventable with early detection.  If you attend a yearly doctor physical visit, women annual mammograms and  pap smears and if we are proactive about our health we can beat anything!!   I have said it before and I will repeat myself now, it's all in the positive attitude.

You would think that my family could keep themselves healthy while I am dealing with surgeries and treatments, well they have for months now but it all caught up to us recently.  Kenny had a cold flu and with a combination of moving furniture and coughing so hard he pulled a muscle.  He went to Kaiser for his flu and they ended up running all kinds of tests for a possible heart problem.  Diagnosis....pulled muscle.  Oh gosh it's funny now but when he was there we were kinda scared. Then JT became ill and slept for 5 days straight and didn't eat, I was very worried and was thinking he might have Mono.  I sent him off to Kaiser and the Doctor said it was just a bad case of the flu.  Once he heard that, he was miraculously healed and was back to going out with his friends and played in the Lacrosse game that week.  Janessa came to town for 2 doctors appointments and lots of immunizations for her Haiti trip.  In a soccer game on Saturday  Makayla had fallen and we thought broke her wrist...after a Sunday Kaiser visit, it's only a sprain. Cassandra called me with the infamous "Mom I'm ok but..." she seemed to have hurt her good knee.  She is in Provo so there isn't much I can do for her but tell her to ice/heat, take Motrin and elevate.  Luckily Dillon, Austin and I were the only ones illness free!!  All in all it could have been so much worse.  At times you have to put yourself in a happy place and imagine all the craziness around you isn't happening.  My happy place is either on a beach in Hawaii, a cruise with my family or park hopping at Disney World!!!

I am so glad my surgeries and chemo are behind me and it's all up hill from here.  In the last 6 months I have endured 4 surgeries and 4 rounds of chemo.  I need to let my body heal but I also realize that now is the time for me to start a new career and help others to learn that a positive attitude will get you through anything.

Faith in our Heavenly Father gives you strength. 

Trust in all the blessings that are around you, they are gifts.  

Pixie Dust, a little magic from Disneyland is the best medicine ever!!!   

Whats Your Happy Place?