Giving & Receiving.....

I know I am not the only mom out there who has done this but when you receive a phone call from your 8 year old from school telling you that you forgot to pick him up, you feel like your the only parent on earth that has done this.  After we picked Dillon up from school I explained to him that since I had Chemo on Tuesday I wasn't feeling 100% just yet.  He replied "What you had Chemo on Tuesday? I didn't know that?", it's that selective hearing thing kids have.  He then said the smartest thing that made me think he is paying attention, "That means you only have one more!  What day is that on?"  I had to tell him he is so smart!!!  I then realized my disease has consumed our every thought, I just hope that we can make this into a positive.  With as many blessings as I have been given I really hope to help others and make sure my family can do the same with our knowledge of this disease and treatments that are needed to be undergone.

I had an amazing opportunity to meet with a new friend Janelle, who had her first Chemotherapy on Tuesday December 20th.  Cassandra is friends with her son Tanner, who is currently serving a mission for our church in Australia.  Cassandra & I put together a care package and brought it to Janelle Monday.  I was able to answer her questions and hopefully calm her fears of having Chemotherapy and all that it will bring to her body.  She is doing great and will continue to do so, she is a very strong person.  I was so happy to be on the giving end instead of the receiving end.  I so appreciate all the help, dinners brought in, gifts, kind words, lovely cards and many many prayers said on my behalf.  BUT it felt great to be back where I usually am, the giver.

One thing, out of many, that I have learned so far is.....to receive is just as important as to give.   As important as it to give of your time, effort, talents, love and compassion, it is just as important to receive those special gifts.  When someone has taken the time to bake cookies and bring them to you as a gift during the holidays or to show appreciation, the gratification of having them received with such joy is so important to the giver.  I have learned that to show my appreciation to those who have given me so much from dinners to prayers, is to give back by doing for others.  When I give a plate of homemade baked goods I don't want the receiver to make me a plate, I would hope that they would do something similar for another family.  That's the gift that keeps on giving, something that has been taught to us for over 2000 years.

My gift to everyone this year, gratitude.  I have not lost faith, I have not lost hope and I have not lost the trust that no matter what, I have a mission on this earth and I fully intend to fulfill that mission.  

Crossing a Hurdle

Tuesday November 29th was my 2nd Round of Chemotherapy, and for the most part it went good.  This time was a bit harder during the treatment but I survived.  I was more tired after treatment this time, and it will be a bit more each time.  Luckily I only have 2 more and I am done!  Tuesday December 6th I had a brunch to attend, it was good to see friends I hadn't seen in a few months.  Most didn't know about my Breast Cancer Fight.  We had a motivational speaker address over 200 of us, Carrie was great.  She started off with a "Who here is a" or "Who here has had to" but then she got to her last question, "Who here is a Cancer Survivor".  I had been raising my hand to the questions that applied to me and when it came to this one all the sudden everything was in slow motion.  I saw a few friends look at me as if to say, ok thats you raise your hand.  Then Carrie had asked me to stand up, I did as I was told but now realizing "oh my gosh I am a Cancer Survivor".  My eyes filled with tears and of course I tired to shut that off, this was a happy time and why would I cry now??!!  I only stood for a few seconds, but it felt like a few minutes.  I heard some gasps with disbelief, they didn't know...Well didn't the scarf on my head give that away, ha ha.  I also heard some say "ohh", I guess it all just hit me and to be asked to stand and hear claps of encouragement for what I am going through was overwhelming for me.  At this moment I felt like I had crossed a hurdle, I wasn't at home having a pity party, I wasn't in the car crying to a song that touched me, I wasn't toughing out my emotions,  I felt empowered!  Sitting on one side of me was Heidi, who's sister lives in Pennsylvania and recently found out that her breast cancer had come back and now they would be doing Chemotherapy.  Heidi had so many questions for me and I was able to answer them.  On the other side Diane, a great friend who comforted me knowing somewhat of my feelings.  Her dad is battling cancer and not doing well right now.  Later in the day I received a call from my friend Lisa who told me her friend had just been diagnosed with Breast Cancer and she had asked if it was ok for her friend to call me.   I have a great mentor Ines, who has been there every step of the way, checking in on me and calls just to make me laugh.  Now it's my turn to do the same.  The unknown is frightening but when you have someone to guide you through, its not so bad.  I am grateful that I have been given this great gift to share with others and help where I'm needed.  I am grateful that my cancer didn't spread, it is curable and I will live a long life. I am grateful for a loving family who supports me and loves me eternaly.  I am grateful for friends who are so gracious, kind and so incredibly supportive.  The strength I have is one that is developed through Faith and Prayer, without that I would be on my sofa watching movies.  Not now, I have a goal.  I am writing a book, becoming a Motivational Speaker and living my life they way I am supposed to.   Thank You Carrie for coming to speak to all 200+ of us and have the courage to ask me to stand.

Christmas is only 17 days away....I have so much shopping to do, but keeping mind what this Holiday is all about.  As a primary song sings "I'm Trying To Be Like Jesus"..... Merry Christmas Everyone!